A purging

Good morning readers!, If you've visited my posts over the past few years there are a few articles discussing chemicalization/spiritual detoxing. This occurs when we are letting go of the ego-self while moving towards higher consciousness, and these ''spiritual purges'' can get right down ugly. Since the beginning of my journey I've underwent several of these spiritual detox days, and after having an incredible vortex allignment week, I awoke yesterday morning with the worst one yet, lightworkers may know this as the dark night of the soul, some, to a varying degree may not go through this, but rest assured, if you are on the path into higher consciousness, and before that lived in fear and negativity, there is no way around this, you must go through this. As bleak as this sounds, I wish to describe what has and IS happening to me, and how I'm coping with it, and maybe help those going through this, keep in mind, as it is a very lonely feeling place, you are never alone, this is crucial! Our ego will fight to the very end to hold on to old beliefs and thinking, using every trick in the book to convince us it's safer to remain where we are, but these are false beliefs that we accumulated through life, which, no longer serve us moving into higher consciousness. It felt, yesterday, like my whole world was crumbling down, the emotions were like depression on steroids, hoplessness and despair were tenfold, I felt I needed to find a rock to crawl under until this would pass, wave after wave of despair was coming over me, I felt so powerless, the more I fought it, the worse it became, how could I be so blindsided by this after a week in my vortex?, at that point I tried to focus on the things I wanted, no dice!, then I focused on doing something else to distract or cover up this feeling of despair, not happening, nothing, I mean nothing could bring me out of this, so I had no choice but to curl up and ride these awful emotions out. As these emotions intensified it became clear to me I was in a lonely and desolate place, that no one or no thing could get me out of, no hope, it was like being in purgatory waiting, and waiting, for any small amount of relief! Sounds scary does'nt it? I mean who in their right mind would want to endure this?, now what if I was to say this is a blessing in disguise?, that as bad as it can be, you come out more powerful than ever? I thought these pesky detoxes were mostly behind me, I had been surfing the waves of bliss and then got attacked by a shark, getting severely wounded in the process! As of now I'm recovering, lucky for me this one's short lived, but in some cases these ''dark nights'' can last days, months, even years, I kid you not, it's a part of dissolving the ego and it's false ideas about who we really are, this readers is spiritual battle 101! Now, how am I overcoming this?, well not easily, but the important thing is again, to remember you are not alone, but you may seek isolation or solitude during the detoxing, and you just can't talk to anyone about this if they have not gone through it themselves, most would mistake it for classic clinical depression, urging you to get help. For me, I tell myself it will pass, and even when the darkest thoughts arise, I tell myself I love and forgive myself, that it's only part of the process of letting go of those deeply ingrained beliefs, the ones that hurt the most, and yes, I must feel these moments of despair intensly so I can finally release them, supressing or covering them up just will not do, they'll just re-surface again and again until they are released, and the sooner the better! What we need to understand is we cannot know the light without embracing the darkness, and most of my life I have lived in the darkness, but it has never felt this intense, it was every dark moment in my life concentrated, brought to the surface all at once, to finally release and there may be more, I hope not but if it happens again I know I'll overcome it. It DOES get easier and better believe me, I just had no idea these deeply ingrained beliefs were still inside me, my whole body ached and trembled, it was like some kind of flu, when it started hurting I felt like it was'nt going to end, like it was the end for me, I sort of felt betrayed, not the case!, and as of writing this, I'm bouncing back quickly, which is truly a miracle to me as opposed to yesterday. As I went about my day earlier, I witnessed miracles and syncronicities as if the spiritual detoxing never took place and a message from my guides that all was good, a total one eighty! Readers, I am proof that this ''dark night of the soul'' cannot knock us down but empower us even more, just be kind and gentle to your self and your ego-self,and it will pass I promise. BACK SOON.