VICTIM OF YOURSELF

It's vital to increase your awareness with conscious creation, I guess it's safe to say this happens automatically to some degree, but it also involves doing your part, which is dissolving resistance. It's perplexing how we are servants to our own minds, how could we possibly be afraid of our very own mind? succumbing to it's fears and limitations and what's worse, allowing it to determine what we can or cannot have. The mind cannot conceive, although it can rationalize and intellectualize everything to some degree, it is a major block when attempting to manifest our most heartfelt chosen realities. A perfect example being myself, for a majority of my life I was always blaming outside circumstances and others for the many woes in my miserable existence, and looking back it's hard to see how I survived it all, I mean wow!, I was in bad shape emotionally, and even though I looked rough and tough on the exterior, deep inside I was an insecure and frightened little child enslaved by my own wounded mind. It was me against the world, and the world was out to get me, you could say that I was living in a personal apocalypse where my world could end anytime, suicide was always contemplated, that's how unstable I was. Fast forward to June 2010 to what would begin to be a very ugly transformation, as I would have to finally accept responsibility for all the misery I had brought upon myself throughout the past 35 years, and for many months to follow the wounded mind would cling and fight for dear life to hold on to it's fears and insecurities, enter the detox phase. It's over now, no longer am I a servant to my mind, instead, my mind serves me, I am the captain of my ship! It took five years to get this far and yet, I'm still a work in progress, so striving for perfection would be delusional on my part, the ultimate goal is to follow my intuition and not my mind because there has to be harmony within the two, an agreement if you will or else they would be in conflict with each other. A simple pointer here, anything the fearful mind is telling you is an illusion, and it's usually a future outcome that hasn't even happened yet, so why buy into it? reacting to a future scenario that most likely wouldn't happen is actually inviting it TO happen in your reality, who would want that? yet we do this all of the time at the subconscious level and wonder why we're having all of this ''bad luck'' that continues to plague our very existence. The more we react to our fearful minds with judgment, the more we are feeding the negative momentum, not only that, we're also judging ourselves and others which makes us feel rotten inside and unworthy, blocking all the good stuff! You could be asking yourself while reading this post ''how do I put a stop to my own fearful mind?'' and this is a tough pill to swallow, you can't stop it, because should you ''try'' to put a stop to your controlling mind you would just be in resistance to it, and we all are very aware that what you resist will surely persist! Your wounded negative controlling mind may have months even years of momentum behind it, so change won't happen overnight. To overcome this you'll need to be aware of the negativity without judgment, sounds complicated?, it is at first but it does get easier with practice, and you're going to have to allow the mind's negative momentum to dissolve on it's own, which means it will get very uncomfortable because you'll want to go in one direction and your mind will try to pull you in the other, that one you don't want to go in. You could say that this is the ''letting go'' phase of deliberate creation, and during this phase it's not idea to attempt to ''fix'' your unwanted reality, that alone will put you in a place of considerable resistance, on top of that your mind will just refuse to get on board, it is very required that you dissolve your resistance altogether first. During the ''letting go'' phase your wounded mind/ego will try to get in on the deliberate creation game, it will believe that it can ''fix'' the negative issues in it's own way, it'll want to control the outcome of everything, as if you're not dealing with enough already! You'll try all of the methods and techniques to distract your own mind, you'll chant mantras and affirmations that your mind refuses to believe, you'll try to suppress negative thoughts by replacing them with positive thinking [been there. done it!] but eventually that negative momentum sneaks right back on you and steals your rainbow. You can't ''get rid'' of your negative mind, you must ''allow'' it to run it's course and dissolve on it's own, the first thing you must do is to stop resisting your negative thoughts simply by not giving them any meaning [judgment] because when you do this you are giving the Gremlins momentum, and PLEASE don't ignore them, be aware of them, be a witness to them, not a victim of them. How long this will take depends on how many months or years of negative momentum you've acquired, so you will have to have patience and above all you MUST go easy on yourself. This ''letting go'' phase is a requirement towards self mastery, you cannot bypass or get around it, but you'll know your making progress when you feel less and less resistance on a daily basis. Here's what you can expect in regards to success, you feel angry, it's okay to feel angry, it'll pass, you feel sad, it's okay to feel sad, it'll pass, you feel frustrated, it's okay to feel frustrated, this too will pass. As you accept these emotions without judgment, they'll dissolve on their own, the same thing applies to people and circumstances. This post became too long so I'll cover more about this subject soon!