HOLIDAZED

Feelings don't lie, I tried to have a really magnificent holiday season this year as in the past, I've always anticipated being with family and friends this time of year. This year was not the case due to heavy bouts of overwhelming contrast, and because of this contrast, my attention was more occupied on avoiding the negative focus towards what I DIDN'T want. For some time it felt like forced effort to keep myself focused on what I DID want, and as of now things are smoothing out nicely and just in time I might add for the approaching new year. I want to get EXACTLY what I want, and I've told myself over and over that I don't care how long it takes, so WITH that, I'm going to have to ride out the contrast until my focus [on what I truly want] is crystal clear and the preferred chosen reality unfolds much more smoothly and easily. I am learning that to get EXACTLY what you want you [higher self] will create the circumstances that will bring more contrast, but it will serve you well in getting more and more clarity, and with this contrast, it is simply authentic self checking in and asking you ''are you absolutely sure you want this?'' and this ''checking'' in can happen unexpected and quite frequently through undesired thoughts or circumstances. Add to all of this the ''releasing'' you are experiencing, it's a lot to take on, but if you really want to get EXACTLY what you want, you must get totally clear and the only way this is possible is through the contrast. [what you DON'T want] Because of the timing of all this, Thanksgiving and Christmas was a blur and the contrast has made the holidays come and go that much faster, I simply didn't feel like celebrating this year, and I tried very hard to feel the spirit of it all but to make any effort was just being dishonest with myself, I just wasn't feeling it this year. It is a sad reality that a lot of people can get very lonely and depressed during the holidays, even more so if they already suffer from chronic depression, which I've suffered from myself in the past, so in a way I was reliving that past due to being away from my family for the holidays, enter the contrast. Now that Christmas is gone I'm a little relieved, I don't consider myself a religious person but I still love Christmas and it's quite possible that I may be growing out of it. [does this happen to us all?] I know that when I look back on all of this it will truly be worth all the contrast I've experienced during this 2015 holiday season, it seems to all indicate the arrival of getting exactly what I want and for good reason, the more clear focused I become, the faster and easier the manifestations will be, it's not a matter of WHEN these things manifest, it's a matter of being in perfect alignment with them BECAUSE they have already manifested, HAPPY MANIFESTING AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!