INTO YOURSELF

I'm a middle aged guy, but believe me as I write these words, I am NOT your ''typical'' middle aged guy, meaning that I'm a long way from settling down. I'm single, I love to party and celebrate, I'm extremely active and in pretty damn good shape, I enjoy loud and very heavy music [no hip hop/pop/country] I'm a self taught chef, and I'm kind of getting good at this writing thing. Now that I've spilled the beans, I'm going to be honest about what I'm not, I'm not fairy's, rainbows, and unicorns, I try to avoid romance because I'm really not the committed/relationship type as I value my personal freedom above everything else, I'm rugged, stubborn, and at times very rebellious. At 51 years old you may be thinking I'm irresponsible or reckless and to some degree I am, but in a more positive way, here's the thing, I love these things about me and I'm embracing myself for these things as well, I'm learning to let go of the judgments and just do what feels good, and even more I'm going to admit that I'm beginning to love myself [did I just say that?]for who I am, imperfections and all! I'm beginning to believe that we shouldn't judge ourselves so much, we're human and when we are against ourselves [dislike ourselves] we are setting ourselves up to be disliked by everyone else. Why is it we get so down on ourselves for being human? Conditioning of course, and at some point in our lives [perhaps childhood] we were told we were a failure, we were told that we wouldn't amount to much, we were told that we had limitations, all bullshit! I used to loathe myself and my very own existence, my self talk would be that of criticism and failure, thus creating a reality of misery and endless suffering via law of attraction. A very honest truth here if I may, when you are wanting something good or better for your life, you are asking ''yourself'' for it, you are ''giving'' yourself permission to not only want something better, but to ''have'' it as well, and when you receive this ''better'' thing, you've actually ''given'' it to yourself but here's the rub, if you don't love or at the very least admire yourself, how are you going to give yourself what you want? This is an issue of deserving here, if you don't love yourself you're going to have a hard time believing you deserve the things you want. This is a missing piece of the manifesting puzzle and it will become crucial when you're wanting to manifest the big ''life changing'' stuff, so if you're wondering why the best life has to offer is constantly eluding you look no further than how you feel about yourself. I myself remain to be a work in progress in the ''just love yourself'' department, but I am beginning to appreciate my personal qualities more, my talents, passions, and traits, good or bad, I'm learning to accept myself for who I am now presently, not ''when'' I become what I want to or who I think I ''should'' be. There is no pressure here, when we're ready to do this [self love thing] it'll happen, but only WHEN we're ready because we are at the driver's seat here, we get to choose when we're ready, no one else can choose for us, until again!